Let me take you with me for a minute into a Relief Society meeting recently held in a BYU singles ward. My husband Scot and I were teaching and we asked a question that everybody wanted to answer. The young women were clamoring to be called on and the answers spilled out quickly.

We asked them what is most stressful to you in your current life-and almost to a person, they said dating and boys. Then we went on. They exploded with answers.

Being in a singles ward sometimes feels like a meat competing with everyone for the boy's attention. I am always wondering if I look good enough or am what boys would want. It makes me feel like I'm always on the line and I have to second guess myself to fit into what the boys would find attractive.

This idea puts so much weight on dating, that people avoid it all together, until they find a person that they think might fill that bill

I feel like I have to look and say and do everything just right to get a date, and if I do, I am self-conscious that I won't get asked out again unless I live up to his idea of what a girl should be like.